Mini Vans are major source of traffic congestion, accidents and road rage

Statistics overwhelmingly show that minivans and their drivers are a major source of traffic jams in most cities across the United States.  It took two years and several million dollars to conduct the study in an effort to better understand traffic congestion.  Minivans are typically driven by women with young children.  This concoction of crying babies, screaming kids and confused and dazed woman drivers has been found to cause women to drive absurdly slow on interstates, to drive in the wrong lanes, to hit their brakes randomly and seemingly for no reason, to swerve in and out of lanes, to not pay attention to traffic signals, and found to signal right and go left among the more common but by no means comprehensive list of driving habits observed by researchers.  And in even more alarming news the Federal government is studying whether to subsidize purchases of minivans for women with at least 2 children under 5.  “People for the ethical treatment of men” (PETOM) has voiced strong opposition to government subsidies and has launched a national campaign to ban minivans driven by women regardless of number of children.  As it turns out, the number of children being driven by women has no effect on accidents, traffic congestion, and cursing followed by fist pumps by men.  For more details go to PETOM’s website.  Donations are encouraged to support legislation to ban women driving minivans.

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest

Despite the passage of time these remarks are a true today as they were then. Only thing is that they are mild compared to stupid statement since.

Chuck Tyson's Texas Tea

No commentary need be added:

“We have to pass the (health care) bill so you can find out what is in it.”

“Nancy Pelosi, speech to National Association of Counties, March 9. 2010 – Speaker of the House and second in line to be President in the event Obama were removed from office.  This statement is pure 100% dumb.  And you ask yourself how do these people of such little intellect get elected?  Can’t we do better.

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“When we start talking about the debt, the first thing people do is run to Social Security. Social Security is a program that works and it’s going to be fully funded for the next 40 years…No, it’s not a crisis. This is something that’s perpetuated by people who don’t like government. Social Security’s fine.”

Harry Reid on the Senate floor discussing Republican efforts to block increase in debt ceiling.  If the man has…

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Without Cliches Some People Have Nothing To Say

My top 10 most aggravating cliches’.

10.) You know – No I don’t know unless you tell me.

9.) I Mean – You mean what?  Without more explanation I have no idea what you mean.  And often more explanation only clouds the issue

8.) Frankly – I have no idea why people say this.  Most of the time Frank has nothing to do with it.  And further there’s nothing particularly frank about what is said thereafter.

7.) At the end of the day – What exactly does a day have to do with anything being said.  A more intelligent cliché might be “when it’s all done”.

6.) If you will… – the use of this one really stumps me. Definition – “If you will, meaning if you will allow me to use this phrase, is a hedge phrase, and it could usually be removed. Writers often use it to apologize for a weak phrase—often a bad metaphor, a corny coinage, or a phrase the writer is reluctant to use if you will. Stop it.

5.) Time will tell – Oh really

4.) Nails on a chalk board

3.) With friends like that, who needs enemies

2.) Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

1.) It is what it is – What the hell does this mean. Of course it is what it is…. what else would it be.

There literally dozens of cliché used by people to convey ideas.  But some of the above need to be traded in for new clichés.  There are far better cliches. Some of my list are not necessarily clichés but are worn out nonetheless.