Statistics overwhelmingly show that minivans and their drivers are a major source of traffic jams in most cities across the United States. It took two years and several million dollars to conduct the study in an effort to better understand traffic congestion. Minivans are typically driven by women with young children. This concoction of crying babies, screaming kids and confused and dazed woman drivers has been found to cause women to drive absurdly slow on interstates, to drive in the wrong lanes, to hit their brakes randomly and seemingly for no reason, to swerve in and out of lanes, to not pay attention to traffic signals, and found to signal right and go left among the more common but by no means comprehensive list of driving habits observed by researchers. And in even more alarming news the Federal government is studying whether to subsidize purchases of minivans for women with at least 2 children under 5. “People for the ethical treatment of men” (PETOM) has voiced strong opposition to government subsidies and has launched a national campaign to ban minivans driven by women regardless of number of children. As it turns out, the number of children being driven by women has no effect on accidents, traffic congestion, and cursing followed by fist pumps by men. For more details go to PETOM’s website. Donations are encouraged to support legislation to ban women driving minivans.