Fun in the Sky…

I remember years ago I actually enjoyed flying. I use to travel all over the Country for business and pleasure. Often I would have an entire row to myself. I could actually do work, relax… sure rates were higher, but not more than double. Today, I hate travel. Planes are uncomfortable, passengers are impolite and downright rude, people are too fat for the seats, no food or drinks anymore, stewardesses look more like my mom than the attractive women of the past, baggage is a nuisance and most people carry on their bags eating up all the overhead space, and the funniest part is that if one dare recline their seat the massive 1/4 inch of recline available… a battleaxe stewardess will scold you like you are 5-year old child if you happen to forget to return your seat to its upright position. Please! If we crash land that 1/4 inch won’t make a damn bit of difference. Oh don’t let me forget the silly monologues the flight attendants blather… I really enjoy the robotic monotone voices reading a script better than Obama reads his teleprompter. Blah Blah Blah… and have a nice day… blah blah blah we know you have a choice and we are ecstatic that you picked our airline…. blah blah blah. Then the pilot wants me to feel special as I drag my ass down the narrow almost impassible aisle by saying something clever like: “Thanks for traveling with us!” Right! At this point the airline industry is flat on its back… losing money faster than Obama spends it… and they think I really believe they give a shit. If they gave a shit, they’d find a way to make the sources of aggravation I cite above go away. Start with charging fat people more money for eating up the arm rests and overflowing into my space. Until then, I will just hate flying and drive my MONSTER JEEP for trips less than 5 hours.

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